Today is a normal day.

WILL BE. 

MUST BE.

Wait, Wan Ying. Wait. Don't let your imaginations run wild.

Live your life like normal. Like nothing has ever changed.

Wishing for the same thing every year but never came true.

Maybe it's time to stop?

Near or far?

Put more effort or go with the flow?

If I show some effort, would you give me what I want?

Bothered. Over analyzing.

I should stop.

Give me a sign. Show me some hope.

Please let me know.

I never thought I'd feel like this again.

It should stop.

It has to stop.

This must stop.

Wanting something so badly in life, something that my parents cannot give me, but can never bring myself to fight for it is painful.

I lost to my pride. I know. But I don't do anything about it. This makes me feel so stupid.

Look at them, so sweet. Aww.

I hang out with my girls, yet there's still a hole that needs to be filled. I love my girls, I really do. But I need something more. Something that they cannot give me. Something that I need to fight for myself.

I wish I was born lucky. I wish I was born optimistic. I wish I was born a happy person. I wish for so many things... That I may not be. I wish for somethings that may not come true.

I believe in luck, fate. I give up easily.

I struggle.

Am I a happy person?

I don't know.

I just can't say, I really want to be in love.

CHAN WAN YING!!!! YOU ARE SO HOPELESS SOOOOOOOOO HOPELESS

I HATE YOU

BYE

I am back in Boston once more. But never have I thought I will be so homesick this time around. It's been a week and I still want to go home. It just feels sad and lonely around here. My friends are living far away from me so we hardly meet. Even if I did try to ask them out, it's not likely that they will say yes. I just wish I could be back home. I can't blend into the western culture here. It's hard to make friends with them. I have to admit I am starting to feel annoying with the accent, how they are being nice to you in front of you but otherwise behind your back. So they aren't truly nice westerners, I'm going back home.

I might have only seen a small portion of this country. But coming back this time tells me that this is not my place to be. I can't work with the people here. I do not understand them and I am afraid. This is not my comfortable zone at all.

Just wish I could go home right now... Everytime I talk to my parents they had to be stuck in the computer screen. That's just not 3D enough.

It's been a while

I can't believe how long I haven't been to this site! Let alone, updating it.

How are you?

I guess I'm pretty good. Been back for the summer for about 2 months, now one more month before I get back to the land of freedom.

What are you up to?

A few projects came up, which I was a part of, in front and behind the camera, so I've been working on that since the day I came home. Now with the shootings all done, it pretty much ended and I'm free again.

Also, visited China and Hong Kong and returned to the boring life of Summer. However, after watching Harry Potter & the Deathly Hallows Part II, which is also the last film of Harry Potter, I noticed two tall identical figures that I have never set my eyes upon before. That's right. They're the Weasley twins. Also known as James and Oliver Phelps, the Phelps twins in real life. Yup. The reason I'm up here today is to tell you about my obsession over this pair of twins!

Honestly, I haven't been this obsessed with a certain thing, or a certain person before, but these twins are handsome! Cute! Gorgeous! They're funny, like Fred and George Weasley, they crack jokes, play pranks on sets. They're just plain awesome. Did I tell you that they're handsome too?

I've been digging out their interviews and scenes in every HP movies for the past few weeks and still doing it. Probably because I have the time and I love them. To tell you the truth, I never read any of the HP books before. I did watch the first and second HP films, but the rest I just fell asleep in the cinema halfway through the movie. But when I saw these two pranksters, I know I'm in love. I knew I had to read the books and watch every HP movie to find out what Fred & George were up to from the start.

Lookit em! Aren't they adorable?

Cheers! :)