The truth can be harsh. And the truth is, I am alone in this world. No matter how many friends I have, in the end I will fall back alone. Yes, they are there to support you. But how much further will they go to support you? Will they hold the sky for you when it falls? Or will they say, "I will be in spirit with you! Just hold on!"? A friend is a friend. They are meant to support you mentally. They are not who clean up after you after you made a mess.

We all have our obligations. Friends could be with you one second, but the other second they could be away. So you have to always be able to stand on your own. Be strong, be independent.

I am a social creature. Yet I am afraid of opening up to new things.
I am desperately in need of friends. Yet I am afraid of asking for one.
When I am told that I will be living alone, I was lost. All of a sudden the path that I was walking on disappeared. The person I was holding on to all the time was gone. I was left in darkness.
I was depressed. Being alone hurts me most.
Am I not able to walk on my own? Have I always been walking on others' feet, letting them carry me wherever I go, with me just compromising them?

Maybe.

That is why I have not been able to make my own decision. I don't know what's good for me. I don't know what I want.