I never thought I'd feel like this again.

It should stop.

It has to stop.

This must stop.

Wanting something so badly in life, something that my parents cannot give me, but can never bring myself to fight for it is painful.

I lost to my pride. I know. But I don't do anything about it. This makes me feel so stupid.

Look at them, so sweet. Aww.

I hang out with my girls, yet there's still a hole that needs to be filled. I love my girls, I really do. But I need something more. Something that they cannot give me. Something that I need to fight for myself.

I wish I was born lucky. I wish I was born optimistic. I wish I was born a happy person. I wish for so many things... That I may not be. I wish for somethings that may not come true.

I believe in luck, fate. I give up easily.

I struggle.

Am I a happy person?

I don't know.

I just can't say, I really want to be in love.